Friday, November 06, 2009

The two sides of Jake

Okay, I'm going to make a big admission here. We actually enjoy Jake over at Page One Kentucky. We read his blog regularly. It has that National Enquirer appeal that we just can't resist. In fact, we think he is terribly funny, and we often find ourselves so amused by his posts that we larf and larf. Seriously.

He has also done many good deeds, including giving University of Louisville President James Ramsey regular booby prizes for his numbskull exploits to embarrass the university (and, by association, the state).

We've even considered giving him some kind of award for all of this, like maybe three or four free personal insults without a follow-up response from us. We might just have to make that his Christmas present.

The only problem is that Jake has this Jeckyl and Hyde thing going on. One moment he will attack the bad guys and then, after imbibing some potion unique to Page One (Well, maybe not entirely unique: they seem to drink the same stuff over at LEO), he shakes and shudders, grows hair all over his body, starts to howl at the moon, and attacks us--the good guys.

It's at these times that we must secure our doors and hide the family.

In a recent such fit, Jake, having boiled and mixed the right chemicals and chugged them down, accused us of not really caring about education and supporting mountain-top removal. These are obviously the charges of a man suffering under chemical induced delusions.

Do I really not care about education? In fact, I teach for a living. I am also a director for an online program which this semester boasts over 600 enrollments.

Do I really support mountain-top removal? In fact, I oppose it 200 percent. I think it should be outlawed. Period.

Someone, please, when he stops foaming at the mouth and the twitching subsides, tell Jake these things. Shake him, slap him a few times (give him a couple for me), and tell him where we really stand.

And for Heaven's sake, get him some help.


Anonymous said...

Jake's just upset because Heather French Henry told him that those jeans he wears make his ass look fat.

Anonymous said...

Looks like Jake's gerbils ran away again. Who can blame them?

Curtis Morrison said...

Martin who? Good thing Jake linked to you, or I would have never known you existed dude.

Martin Cothran said...


Thanks for posting. I had thought I only existed in Jake's mind.

Anonymous said...

Curtis, please don't use the word linked, or derivatives thereof, immediately following the word Jake. Thanks much.