Tuesday, October 02, 2012

A funny thing happened on the way to gender equality in the military

Having women in the military was really great because, after all, women can hand tough assignments--even combat roles--just as well as men. Oh, except they are now being sexually victimized by their male colleagues, which just doesn't make sense. I mean, if they're equal to men and all.

The problem, apparently, is that some commanding soldiers out there have a "combat persona." That's right. A "combat persona." In the Army, of all places. The next thing you know, they'll start training soldiers to, like, kill people.

The biggest concern, of course, is that all those wackos out there who thought that putting large numbers of women in close quarters with men in military situations would cause problems, like, um, sexual victimization. We can't let these people be proven right.

In order to make sure the critics of women in the military aren't vindicated, we don't need to talk about how women are sexually victimized, since that would give the impression that men and women are different in some way, and that women are physically weaker than men, which we now know to be a myth brought about by an unhealthy exposure to biology, anatomy, history, anthropology, and the literature of basically every civilization that has ever existed.

The first thing we need to do is to make sure that, when we report on things like the lawsuit filed in federal court in San Francisco, we phrase it very carefully. Make no reference to the proportion of women to men involved in the suit so that it appears as if men are being sexually victimized by women every bit as much as women are being victimized by men.

Oh, wait. They did do that.

Anywa, secondly, Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta needs to say something like, "I have men and women in the military who put their lives on the line…to protect this country. Surely we owe it to them to be able to protect them.”

Oh, shoot. In fact, he did say that.


1 comment:

Lee said...

On a related note, I've noticed I cannot turn on a cop show on TV of any flavor or species without at some point in the proceedings seeing a beautiful, trim 105-pound police woman, detective, or field agent pound the tar out of a 220-pound man. The more petite and beautiful the woman, the more easily she turns the perp into mincemeat.

We wouldn't be sending kids an inaccurate cultural message born of wishful feminist thinking, would we?

I don't care how much training a 105-pound woman has had. She'd have to get pretty lucky to handle an enraged 220-pound tough guy who has never had a minute's martial-arts training in his life but has had plenty of experience busting heads. I've met guys whom you could hit in the face with your clenched fist and all your might, who would then just look at you and smile. (That's when you know you're in real trouble!)

Yes there are tough women. Tougher-than-the-average-guy tough. But not tougher than the average tough guy. The differences start occurring right around age 14, when the boys start acquiring... you know, that awful word... tes... testos.... I can't bring myself to say it, it's going to make a feminist mad somewhere on the planet... testosterone!!!! Phew. That was hard. I had to overcome several employee sensitivity training sessions just to think it, let alone speak it.

I read an article recently that talked about these differences. The U.S. Woman's Soccer team plays teenage boy teams in California, where they have an excellent soccer program. They can beat the 13-year-old boys. But not the 14-year-olds. Testosterone has already kicked in at that point. Not enough to make them all bigger and stronger than the women, yet, but enough to make them a lot faster.

The war between liberalism and reality would be more fun if I didn't have to participate in it. Nature is just so unfair. Let's pass a law.