Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Big Bird eats twice his weight in taxpayer money every day

Why are we subsidizing with taxpayer money a bird that can't even tell you what kind he is? In fact, Big Bird is the very personification of species confusion. According to Wikipedia, he is officially a canary. But when asked on on episode of Sesame Street if he was a cassowary, he replied, "I'm more of a condor."

A condor? Aren't they a kind of vulture? Don't they eat dead things? We're borrowing money from China to subsidize a talking yellow buzzard?

In 1976, he told host Peter Marshall on the Hollywood Squares that he was a lark. In one film he is called an Ibis. Wikipedia says he looks more like a chicken. We have made an educational icon out of a taxonomically-challenged bird. Big Bird deserves to go the way of the raphus cucullatus.

In case you're wondering, that's a dodo.


AWB said...

Priceless post!

Sam Freeman said...

Even if PBS received no funding, Big Bird and Sesame Street would easily find corporate sponsorship. If this is the best Obama can do, then his goose is cooked.

Singring said...

'Even if PBS received no funding, Big Bird and Sesame Street would easily find corporate sponsorship.'


Yeah, let's have McDonald's, Burger King and Coca-Cola sponsor Sesame Street.

That way we can spend a hundred times the money we spend on Sesame Street on mitigating the effects of diabetes, cardiac disease and environmental destruction resulting from all those kids running off to get their corporate fix!

Brilliant long-term fiscal policy there, folks.

Positively bird-brained.

Anonymous said...

Big Bird, or, rather, the guy who wears the Big Bird suit is paid over 350,000 dollars per year. Big Bird is a One Percenter.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Singring. or as he is called in Mr. Rogers' neighborhood, the Cranky Kraut, that fast food companies should not sponsor Big Bird. How about Weight Watchers?