Saturday, September 26, 2015

Rainbow Doritos inspiring other changes in food industry

Frito-Lay recently unveiled its Rainbow Doritos, a move intended to support gay and transgender lifestyles. The product has unleashed an entire revolution in the food industry.

The chips were made available only to those who donated to the It Gets Better Project, which helps fight hatred and intolerance of gays which everyone knows is rampant because of all the negative things we hear about gays from all sides every day all the time from everywhere, never hearing anything good about it. Ever.

Dairy producers, perhaps inspired by the Doritos move or the gender theory behind it, are gearing up to begin milking bulls as well as cows, and the poultry industry is looking into the possibility of collecting eggs from roosters.

The move by Frito-Lay is also influencing, not only in what Americans eat, but in the way they eat.

Nutrition experts are now advising that dinner be served in the morning and breakfast at night, and that desserts be served before dinner, and appetizers afterward. They are also now recommending that you should shop for the ingredients of meals you plan on having after you serve them rather than before, and that you preheat the oven only after you have baked something. In addition, lifestyle advisers are recommending that dishes be washed prior to meals.

In another development ...

Oh, wait, hang on ... You know what? I think this may just be a nightmare I had last night. Yeah, I think it is. I mean, everything except the Doritos part.

Never mind.


Anonymous said...

Uh, city people, bulls already get "milked".

j a higginbotham

Anonymous said...

Since gay marriage has been legalized, our worst fears are coming true:
Here is a half-male, half-female chicken.
The poultry industry is doomed.

Anonymous said...

Boycott Lucy's Diner in Arkansas!

Lucy's Diner (AR)

Open 24 hours a day with breakfast served round the clock, Lucy's Diner really knows how to cater to its customers and this has made it Arkansas's go-to diner. Their food calls itself home-style country cooking 'just like grandma made it'. Variety is aplenty here, from ...

Their 24 hour breakfast offerings with plenty of "variety" is an assault on our religious freedoms, and in the heart of the Bible Belt at that!

j a higgonbotham
(poultry comment as well)

Martin Cothran said...

Uh, city person posing as a country person,

You need a primer in distinguishing basic bodily fluids. You also need a clear explanation of the hazards of not observing the difference between using words univocally and analogously.

Art said...

In other news, Christian parents are up in arms over the veritable rainbow of colors to be seen in the produce section of the local supermarket. As one concerned parent said, "I'm afraid that taking my kids vegetable shopping is going to turn them gay."

Concerned by this liberal assault on good Christian morality, creation scientists at Liberty University have pledged to get rid of the Satanic colors that infect the produce section, using a strictly Biblical approach. As they say, "we're going to pray in the gray to pray out the gay."

Stay tuned for further developments ...

Anonymous said...

First the militant homosexuals shoved gay marriage down our throats. And now it's to be
carrots, bananas, cucumbers, and other produce?

j a higginbotham

Anonymous said...

I'll accept it as a victory if that's all they shove down our throats, j a higginbotham.

lee woo said...

Most days it feels as if the world is whirling around me and I am standing still. In slow motion, I watch the colors blur; people and faces all become a massive wash. See the link below for more info.