The chips were made available only to those who donated to the It Gets Better Project, which helps fight hatred and intolerance of gays which everyone knows is rampant because of all the negative things we hear about gays from all sides every day all the time from everywhere, never hearing anything good about it. Ever.
The move by Frito-Lay is also influencing, not only in what Americans eat, but in the way they eat.
Nutrition experts are now advising that dinner be served in the morning and breakfast at night, and that desserts be served before dinner, and appetizers afterward. They are also now recommending that you should shop for the ingredients of meals you plan on having after you serve them rather than before, and that you preheat the oven only after you have baked something. In addition, lifestyle advisers are recommending that dishes be washed prior to meals.
In another development ...
Oh, wait, hang on ... You know what? I think this may just be a nightmare I had last night. Yeah, I think it is. I mean, everything except the Doritos part.