The Mattel toy company recently rolled out what some people are referring to as the “Drag Queen Barbie.” The new doll is officially called the “Blond Diamond Barbie” and was designed by “the Blonds,” a New York fashion duo.
“One of the great things about Barbie," said Cathy Cline, vice president of marketing for Mattel, "is that she continues to push the envelope ... Barbie doesn’t worry about what other people think.”
But just as the Committee (which consists of me and … well, basically just me) was about to vote on the recommendation, it was reported that Mattel, apparently worried about what other people think, was denying that the Blond Diamond Barbie was a drag queen.
The toy company said that the doll was entirely female.
The Blond Diamond Barbie just happens to look just like Phillipe Blond. Who designed Blond Diamond Barbie. And who has the same name. And who is a drag queen.
Instead of being a male impersonating a female, Blond Diamond Queen Barbie is a female impersonating a male impersonating a female. What a relief.
To verify Mattel’s claim that Blond Diamond Barbie was really female and not a drag queen, the Committee appointed a subcommittee (made up of member(s) of the Committee) to actually inspect the doll and determine its gender. But after conducting a simple inspection, it was decided that the doll’s gender could not be determined. After further inspection, which included an analysis of older Barbie and Ken dolls, the subcommittee discovered a serious anomaly.
“In fact,” said a spokesperson, “we discovered that even traditional Barbie and Ken dolls were almost completely androgynous. This is shocking.”
After the subcommittee made its report to the full Committee, the group decided to broaden its recommendation. It voted to send not only Blond Diamond Barbie, but basically all Barbie and Ken dolls to Russia for trial. And Mattel executives. And fashion designers.
The vote was unanimous.
